Itch itch...scratch scratch

The Seven-Year Itch.

Not just a really awful Marilyn Monroe movie, as it turns out. (Trust me on this one and don't waste your time. You will only end up hating men and blondes.)

Mike and I are in our seventh year of marriage, and I'm gonna be honest with you: it's kinda tough. Now, I don't want anyone assuming we are having serious "deal-breaker" issues here; let it be known that barring any serious marital infraction, I am wholly committed to my marriage for the long haul.

[Although, may I share a little side story? I once told Mike that if he ever cheated on me, it was OVER, end of story, do not pass Go. Then I asked him what he would do if I cheated and he thought for a minute, and you know what he said?
And I quote:
I just love you so much, I think I would forgive you!
So yeah. I'm a jerk.]

ANYway. I'm sure it's a combo of the length of our marriage and the fact that we are adjusting to having a marriage with a baby thrown in the mix. I know some people seem to have it all together, but I'll admit that we've sort of lost some of the "us as a couple" amidst the "us as parents," and sometimes it makes me sad. Obviously, we are hugely in love with our baby, but honestly, sometimes I realize that he's all we've talked about all day. And in this mom's opinion, that's not the way it should be. That's the kind of marriage that feels empty when the kids fly the coop and the parents realize they have nothing in common anymore.

Hold on. I feel another side story coming on.

Earlier this evening, Mike showed me a video that I must have tucked away in the "amnesia box" of my brain, because I have almost no recollection of making it. It was filmed probably 2 years ago, for Mike's dad's birthday. It features Mike and I riffing on camera (and sometimes singing horribly) about his dad's life on a mink farm (yep, that's true), childhood in Utah, and "3 wonderful children...and Mike."

It was, quite frankly, hilarious.

Stop right there--I know what you're going to ask. The answer is no.

Moving on. In my present state of being, I honestly canNOT believe I took part in that movie. Willingly, it seems. I would be HUMILIATED if that thing got out (OK, now I'm just jinxing myself). So I'm wondering, Why? What has changed so much in 2 years that I'm so embarrassed of that?

Am I more uptight than I used to be? Entirely possible.
Has motherhood made me more conservative? I suppose it could have.

Or do Mike and I just not DO that kind of funny thing together anymore? Hmmm. That one hurts a little. And there's certainly some truth there under the hurt.

So my realization for this installment is this: we still haven't figured out that thing where you are parents, but you are still yourselves, but you are still devoted to your children, but you are still devoted to each other, but you are still a good mommy, and worker, and friend, but you still remember to reserve energy and personality for yourself and your partner.

I know it SOUNDS easy, but turns out?

Not so much.