How I got here this time

It's hard to say when "not preventing" turned into "earnest trying," but all in all, I'd say it was about 9 months. 9 frustrating months. A familiar frustration...which made it all the more frustrating.

In October, I decided to seek help. I went to my witch doctor, I called my gynecologist. My witch doctor told me to get off of dairy again (I knew I needed to do). My gynie told me to come in for a visit.

I talked to both of them, at length, about my concerns, my suspicions, my frustration. The WD put me on a new regimen and diet. The G told me to take ovulation tests for 10 days and scheduled me for a diagnostic ultrasound the following month (in case I didn't miraculously get pregnant this month).

Here's what happened in the meantime:

I got off dairy. I started my regimen.
I felt the same.

I took the ovulation tests.
They were all negative.


I worried something serious was wrong.

I thought a lot about personal revelation, and why I felt like it wasn't a big part of my life. Not feeling that a personal guide (in my world, the Holy Spirit) is communicating with me and leading me in a certain direction. I felt disappointed that I didn't seem to be living a life in tune with such things.


And then I had this revelation. It was powerful, and subtle. I trusted it. And I relaxed.

I went to Arizona for a long Thanksgiving visit, and by the end of the trip, I had some suspicions.

When I got home, I had to call and cancel that ultrasound, but could I schedule another one?


Because sometimes,


miracles do happen.