The intro to the midwife

As J is now fully aware, we are off to "Canaforna" tomorrow. I can't tell him we are going ANYWHERE until about 3 seconds before we go, unless I want to be tortured with questions of Can we go now? Are we ready? WE GO CANAFORNA MOMMY??!!! every 2 seconds.

I decided to give him a one-day warning this time. Mistake? Possibly.

Meanwhile, it's cold and dreary outside, which is always just how I like to leave town.

Anyway. On to midwif-ier matters.

Yesterday I had my 24 week (!) appointment with my midwife D. She is very good with J and he really likes her. She has a small office in the back of her house, and it is filled with all sorts of cool retro Fisher Price toys that J loves to play with.

If your only experience is with a traditional OB, you would be amazed, and possibly shocked, at how my appointments go with Midwife D.

Each and every one of them is a mimimum of an hour. Since J is fully entertained the whole time, and since it is such a relaxed environment, I welcome these long appointments. She hugs me, asks how I'm feeling, how Mike is doing, how J is handling things. She offers parenting advice, and books on parenting and pregnancy. She answers questions, helps me find better sleep positions, gives me ideas on how to keep my diet balanced. She doesn't care whether I weigh myself or not (I do, incidentally).

She dresses in bright colors, stops to talk to J if he gets upset, helps him redirect his focus.

She is a lovely, lovely person.

Last month at my appointment, she started telling me about the time the house caught fire and had both J and I engaged in the story. She spoke to J as an equal (it's all part of her philosophy), about the fire trucks coming, and hosing down the area. I thought it sweet that he seemed so interested even though I was pretty sure he had no idea what she was talking about. At the end, she described the remaining scene as a "mudbath."

And that's when J turned to her and asked, "D (he pronounces her name very well), what's a mudbath?"

She just has a way, I tell you.

When I was looking for a midwife, I interviewed probably half a dozen of them. I liked all of them, but some were less convenient than others, some cost significantly more than others (ahem, midwife N!), and when it came down to it, I just like D the best, in all categories. I also got a personal recommendation for her. I have never for a second regretted my choice.

As a side story that totally did not influence my decision AT ALL (seriously, it didn't), she also happened to be the midwife for a certain supermodel who is married to a certain mega football celebrity in the area...so that's kinda interesting. (And she didn't tell me that, I read it online)

AND YET! She doesn't cost any more than anyone else (ahem, Midwife N!). So she strikes me as grounded, sincere, real. Sort of like a very wise and wispy grandmother. The kind that was definitely, definitely a hippie at some point in her life, but has now melded nicely into mainstream society.

She advises me to pray if I have concerns. She reminds me to take time to focus love energy on my growing baby. She calmed me down when I fell down the stairs (remember? that was scary).

Its true, I found some of her "harness the powers of the universe" talk a little startling at first, but not because I didn't believe it. It's all true, what she says. It's just jarring to hear your medical practitioner speak that way. It's really made me shift my paradigm, and that is a process that's still going. The more I read, the more deep spritual faith I have in midwifery (when practiced responsibly, of course), and the more sad I feel that it has become a sort of dying art in the U.S.

Before I get all preachy, I'll just say that I highly recommend a midwife for anyone--one that you trust, and one that believes in a woman's body's ability to do what it was made to do.

In short, I think I definitely found one of those, and I think I'm keeping her.