Weightier matters

I've been thinking about weight lately.

And that's not something I really like to do.

Not just my own, but my husband's (still going down!), and other folks in my life who seem to be (in my opinion) a bit too preoccupied with it. And it makes me kinda blue.

I've gained a lot more weight this pregnancy than the last. But the thing is? I don't really care. It's interesting to me, and I wonder about the amount of time it will take to come off occasionally, but not often. I'm just not that kind of person.

What's been striking me a lot recently is that the people in my life who seem to be engrossed in weight and food and calories are usually the ones who are skinny. Not average, not slightly overweight, not fat...SKINNY.

And that bugs me.

I feel sorry for skinny people who spend a good portion of the day contemplating what effect a certain meal is going to have on their waistline, how much they can "afford" to splurge this time, etc. What a sad life that is (again, in my opinion). Or to constantly compare yourself to what you looked like in high school, or at any previous date when circumstances were totally different. That seems like a pathway to constant disappointment for me.

We grow up, we have babies, our metabolisms slow down. Obviously it's important to get plenty of good stuff into your diet, and perhaps it is appropriate to become more aware of that the older we get, but that's not usually what is driving people who talk about it all the time.

They want to be skinnier.

I love my husband. I think the life changes he is making are absolutely appropriate and I tell him over and over how proud I am of him. Over the years, I have encouraged him (via us, and cooking for us) to eat healthier, adding more veggies and grains, subtracting more fats and sugars. Sometimes I'm great about it, sometimes I'm not.

But I would never dream of criticizing him for how he looks. I know different people are of different opinions on this fact, but for me? That kind of a comment is just not acceptable in our marriage. I would be devastated if Mike ever gave the hint that he would prefer it if I looked differently than I do. And the fact that he NEVER WOULD is one thing I have always loved about him. Before I was married, I was skinny. You might say I had a "great body." And I got attention for it, often unwanted. And one thing about Mike I knew right from the start is that, although he found me attractive, that "hot" body of mine could have looked like anything and he still would have loved me.

That is an incredibly reassuring feeling. I hope all of you know what that feels like.

I never want to be a mom who inadvertently gives her children a complex about food. Some days J eats a lot, some days he hardly eats anything. Sometimes it's all veggies and grains, sometimes it's not much more than crackers and cheese. Overall, he's getting what he needs, and that's what matters.

I think most of us could stand to eat a little better, be a little more aware of what we put into our bodies. But lots of us could stand to be a little easier on ourselves, and those around us. Having little or no idea what is in the past or present of the overweight people we see, how could we possibly make judgments about how they look? In fact, how dare we?! I have many larger people in my life, and in some ways? I like them more for it. I know I will not be judged by them in the ways I truly hate to be judged. I know I can love them for who they are and they will never wonder if it's because they look a certain way.

In short (in long, actually), I vote for a little less talk about looks and calories and a little more just loving you and loving me, just where we're at. Oh I know this isn't a new idea, but it seems to be everywhere in my life right now, and frankly I hate how much it keeps popping up.

Highly Recommended reading on this topic.

And speaking of weight, here's me now: weightier than I've ever been, and loving it:

(I admit to feeling great, even cute pregnant.)

10 more weeks to go!