No. I'm really not.

So as I've mentioned before, when interacting with people in real life (as opposed to blog life?), I'm not totally forthcoming about my birth plan. I know it took me a lot of reading, soul searching, and education to get to my decision, so I certainly can't expect people to be immediately understanding of it.

But sometimes, I can't avoid telling people...or other people telling other people. And that's fine! Really. But I find that I'm getting a reaction pretty often that I'm totally uncomfortable with and that is this:

You are so brave!

Which brings me to the title of this post. I'm really not.

I really don't want to get all preachy, but I almost can't help it. Because if someone hadn't gotten a little preachy with me five years ago, I never would have learned everything that I have, and I am so so grateful for this education.

Homebirth isn't a "brave" decision. It's just a decision. It's not a "risky" decision; there is NO greater risk of negative outcome than there is with any other birth choice. Really. That is a fact.

I feel so strongly about women researching their options and making informed decisions. And in this country, those decisions are shrinking, and it makes me angry. It should make everyone angry. Because of ridiculous laws based on weak logic that protects big business, I can't give birth in a birth center, as I would have originally chosen.

Because of doctors who themselves are really pretty uninformed, our c-section rate is through the roof (MUCH higher than most other developed countries). I know most people know that. But the most tragic thing for me is that because the way birth is handled in this country, most American women have become convinced that they can't do it. Either their bodies aren't built right, they don't have the tolerance level, or it's just "taking too long." I'm not anti-pain meds or anything, but I am pro-birth support, which would make so many of those meds unnecessary.

I am not brave for having a home birth. I am choosing to have 2 devoted birth supporters (my midwives) who are trained to help me through the hard work of labor. That is something a hospital birthing mother doesn't have. In a way, doesn't that make her braver than me? These midwives will take an active role in supporting me and getting me through something that will, obviously, be really tough. They will not lay me on my back, hook me up to machines, and wish me luck.

I know some people have really positive experiences birthing at hospitals, and I don't feel that all nurses and doctors are evil (I had WONDERFUL recovery nurses with J), but they are simply NOT TRAINED to help you the way a midwife or doula is. It is not part of the U.S. medical system. It just isn't. Most OBs are more like trained surgeons these days, certainly not labor support specialists.

So I'm choosing support. Because I know I'll need it in order to accomplish this thing I know I can accomplish, and that I know every woman can accomplish.

There are cases when intervention is necessary. I had one of those cases. And if I have one of those cases again, I'll be grateful for it. But most of the time, none is needed, and it is given anyway. And that makes me angry, too.

There. I got preachy.

I highly recommend these books, if you are interested in learning about how amazing your body is, and the choices you have:

And if you don't care, that's your prerogative. But if enough people decide not to care, then we will all have fewer options. It's certainly heading that direction, and the result is not better obstetric care. It's worse.

I'll stop there. But I would encourage everyone to find your own way of educating yourself about your body and birth.

And I would ask that you please not tell me I'm brave.

(But if you already have, no hard feelings, OK? :) )