Our first picture of baby G
(G, as in...Curious G, the monkey. Or G Costanza, if you prefer.)
It's 5 weeks later, and I feel like a new person. Or, I feel like a person, which is a big step for me. Within days of my last surgery, I started to feel about a thousand percent better. I think knowing the worst (knocking hard on wood) is behind me, and no more surgeries (KNOCK KNOCK) was what kicked me back into myself.
My mom left and I still figure out how to get showers in. I can leave the house with both of the kids. I have decided not to get my tubes tied.
These are big things, I'm telling you.
We named our baby G after my beloved Grandpa, who was actually my step-grandpa, and had no children of his own. He was a funny, wonderful man. Baby G's middle name is Mike's father's name--one we are very proud to carry forward. He is an honorable, amazing man.
When I called to tell Mike's parents about the name, his dad was very touched. He said, "Well, I better clean up my act!"
Not necessary, I assure you.
I am not sleeping much, but it is much easier to deal with the second time around. I remember crying daily out of sheer exhaustion when J was a baby. The sleep deprivation knocked me over. But this time, I know I can survive, I know it will pass, and I just plain don't feel it as much. It's interesting; having a second is both harder and easier than having the first.
My midwife kept a detailed record of the birth process, and sent me a copy this week. It was interesting, and upsetting, and I'm glad I have it. It reinforces some hard questions I have for her about some decisions she made, and why she made them.
I'm still pretty unsettled about some things.
I know people are wondering if I regret my decision, if I would do it again, or if I would recommend home birth. I'm planning to post all about those questions at some point. I never wanted to be a poster child for home birth, but I also totally understand the fascination--I mean I don't really know anyone who has done this before either. I would have had a lot of questions for them if I did.
So I will put together something to answer as best I can right now. I can finally talk about what happened to me, and better assess my feelings, now that it isn't so fresh.
In the meantime, I'm smooching my two little boys and letting myself feel victorious for getting them both dressed by noon.
What he's lookin' like these days.
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4 comments:
so glad to hear it's easier (and harder) the second time around. i've recently started trying to imagine what that would one day be like, and was kindof weirded out. two?! which is dumb because that's been the goal for a year. :) funny. anyway. i love him already! so glad you're feeling better, cause seriously girl. you deserve it!
I'm so relieved to hear this! I've been worried about you and am so glad the worst is over. G is so beautiful!
There was also an American jazz composer and theorist named George Russell - who incidentally lived in Boston and taught at New England Conservatory - and wrote a book called "The Lydian Chromatic Concept of Tonal Organization." I'm telling you, this kid's gonna be brilliant. So glad to hear that you're doing better. E and I think about you all the time and are grateful for the updates.
He is soooo cute! and looks sooo big already. That's so sweet, where his name came from -- both the first and the middle. When our boy Spencer was born, my dad already had a grandson named after him. But he called and suggested we give the baby Brian's dad's name as a middle name. My dad told us nothing ever made him more proud and humbled at the same time, than to have a grandson carrying his name. And sure enough, Brian's dad was sooo touched to think we used his name. Plus, I think Spence has an extra special bond with his grandpa because of that. So... yay for family names!
Glad to hear you're feeling better. I hope you continue to feel good.
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